Sign of the Times


To say that this Administration is pissing me off would be an understatement.  There are so many things that caregivers deal with but when you have a situation where the people leading the country are not making the best decisions for the majority of their people, it is a type of frustrating that I can’t really quantify.

While I will update resources from time to time, right now, I am unable to post regularly. This is for a lot of reasons, but primarily for my own self care because so many things are making me angry at this moment in time.

I am laughing because its better than sitting here sobbing.

In the interim, I would ask that you consider following a few folks who are working hard to correct the current injustices, not for just Veterans now but those who are still to come.  My recommended groups are:




I encourage you to reach out to pending presidential candidates and ask them to tell you where they stand on the issues that matter most to you.  We have to be involved.





Deadline for Veterans’ Choice Card and Call Center Looming

Important reminder if you are 40 miles out from a VA clinic/hospital!

Asknod Veterans Claims Help

clockThe Veterans Access, Choice, and Accountability Act of 2014, (signed into law Aug 7, 2014 as Pub.L. 113-146.) may not meet important tasks in time. (see govtrak for bill details).

The VA has no later than 90 days to issue the Veterans’ Choice Card to eligible vets.  So that means on or about Nov. 6 veterans living over 40 miles from a medical center (and fewer miles for some conditions) should have their cards.  Or if they are waiting for certain services for over 30-days.

However, Solicitation VA79114N0090, which appeared on, shows that the VA is late in seeking a third party administrator (TPA).  For details, plug the # in solicitation/keyword box and search). In Sept. the VA held an information event for potential vendors in Colorado about:  Non-VA Third Party Administrator to support the implementation of the Veterans Access, Choice, and Accountability Act of 2014. (I emailed…

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Resources Update

I added two new resources to that page today under the Database category.  One is for the Elizabeth Dole Foundation.  They have a good database search if you have specific parameters that you can input.  Some times I don’t really know what I need or find things I wasn’t looking for at first so I highly recommend checking out Operation We Are Here as well.  While you will land on the recreation page, you can see along the side all the different categories of pages.  Also, in the boxes at the top and bottom of each page there are even MORE links.  I have already spent hours on this page finding new things.  Even if they don’t apply to me, I can always find someone who was looking for something.

What are your favorite resources?  Please let me know below, if its not on my list, I will add it!


The Trouble With Trouble, oh yeah, and Syria too

This is a repost from my personal blog,, that inspired the creation of this one.  There is just too much to discuss and too many conversations to have to not have a separate home for that at this point.


I get a little crazy over politics sometimes. In all honesty, I think I have earned it with the extent to which I have worked in it over the years, but still, I understand not every home has people that yell at the television news.

In my defense, I warned them.

 I don’t work in politics as much as I used to but I have raised amazingly civic-minded children that go and do their own amazing things. I am very proud of that and feel like it’s my duty to teach them why they should care and why they should get involved. Sometimes it’s easy. Sometimes it’s very hard.

This week was one of those weeks.

 It’s not a question of what we should do as a nation in the Ukraine, Syria, etc. Its all the vocal minority of ill informed people is becoming so loud that I can no longer bear the noise.

Sovereignty is the boss of things

 Sovereignty: the authority of a state to govern itself or another state.”national sovereignty”

synonyms: autonomyindependenceself-governmentself-rulehome ruleself-determinationfreedom “the colony demanded full sovereignty”

a self-governing state.plural noun: sovereignties

 Does anyone understand what it means any longer to be a sovereign nation? Maybe that isn’t high on the priority list in school any more but I feel like I have to mention that. How sad is that? POTUS cannot just direct folks to roll up into Ukraine or Syria because they are sovereign nations. If they ask for and accept assistance within parameters, that’s different but did, we not learn ANY THING in Iraq? By the Bush Administration misrepresenting the facts to the UN?

Just think about Ferguson

 In our own country we have people doing horrible things. Civil rights violations continue and one could argue human rights violation when examining all that happened just in Ferguson this summer. So say Russia or China takes issue with that and decides, lets just roll in there and solve that problem. What would be wrong with that? Some of our largest cities are battling gangs that cause pain, suffering, death and perpetuate crime that cannot be stifled. What would you say to a city that decides they are going to pick this place for random strikes and send in drones to kill all of them? What about the good, innocent people that live there? Why is it not okay in this country but just fine in others?

If just one more person screams BOMB THEM I will loose my mind

 The beheading of journalist in Syria is tragic. No one can argue those points. The follow up statement that we should roll up into Syria because they beheaded two Americans makes no sense at all. With all due respect to your opinions and ideas…

You do not know what the fuck you are asking

 A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to ‘The United States of America  ‘ for an amount of ‘up to and including my life.’ – Unknown

As a caregiver to a combat disabled OEF Veteran, you do not understand what you are asking the men and women of our Armed Forces to do. It doesn’t matter how much you respect members of the military, past and present. The reality is that serving in the military is no longer viewed as a duty and an honor by the majority of population. In fact, less than 1% of our society serves anymore. LESS THAN 1%. That number is just as dismal when you consider the percentage of Congressional members that have served. So when I say you don’t understand what you are asking, I am speaking to the majority of Americans. You cannot fully understand when you haven’t done it yourself. You just can’t.

It is a constant battle

A good day is one where there are no blow-ups, nothing is forgotten, no one cries, no one freaks out, no bad dreams creep in and everyone is smiling the next morning. These days are too few and very far between. Most days living with TBI and PTSD are constantly trying to balance how much you intervene, how often you interrupt or when you take over. You will be yelled at or met with resistance. You will feel angry but most days stuff that down, either on your own or with your favorite vice (mine is usually donuts.) There is often crying and deep sadness. There is a lot of busy work to keep you from thinking such things. This and life has to go on. The kids go to school, the Vet has to get to appointments, animals need to be cared for and did I get the laundry done. BONUS: You forgot the wet laundry and now it’s molded in your washing machine, ruining everything. If you have never taken care of a TBI patient, it can be likened to abuse from time to time because there is no impulse control, there is no moderating the volume where its only on LOUD when they are ANGRY. Then there are those perfect days where everything is right with the world, everyone is happy, and new good memories can be formed.

 But then there is reality

There is no one thanking me for my service and there are a ton of caregivers that just can’t take it. They leave. I get that. I can’t judge them. I judge the VA system that is woefully inadequate, the advances they will not fund nor explore because it’s too expensive. My Vet needs a name brand medicine recommended by two doctors and they will not authorize it. Why? It costs too much for the VA. There are millions of Veterans in the system that go through the same hassles.

So don’t call me a traitor

It doesn’t mean I am un-American because I am not a Republican. It doesn’t mean I am a traitor because I think they are wrong on every point. I am tired of Republicans perpetuating the myth that soldiers are Republicans and Republicans take care of them. That is all bullshit. You would be ashamed if you knew how many service members told me they had to lie and pretend to be Republicans when they went to the board for promotion. The number that was looked down on when they had to apply for food stamps to feed their families is staggering. Yes, and just don’t get me started on how little soldiers are paid. It doesn’t make me a bad person because I don’t think full-scale military intervention is the answer for everything.

I serve my country every day

When I get through the day and everyone is taken care of and I can breathe, I understand the importance of what I am doing. My Veteran has important skills and mentoring still left to impart upon anyone that needs it. He has stories and memories that were not affected that should be told. Let us serve as a reminder of the reason that we can’t just go do what we have done in the past. This country already cannot afford it. This country doesn’t understand what it is doing to military families.

That’s the trouble with trouble

There are times when we must act. It is part of the joint human experience. Advances in technology and weaponry that allow us to be more focused in our show of force. But that’s the trouble with trouble, when you choose a side, you also choose your enemy. It is a never-ending cycle in our lives. Unless you support compulsory military service and a draft, stop saying our military needs to roll up in some country or drop bombs and nuke them back to the Stone Age.

When you use the words “we need to kill them all” I don’t think you understand the word “we.”

That word doesn’t mean what you think it means.

From your couch or in front of a computer.

What are you giving up to fight the good fight?

Are you even registered to VOTE?


I can’t hear you…